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Faith

Time, Honesty, and Grit

By Nikole / July 2, 2018 / 0 Comments

If you’ve been following my Goodbye Church mini-series, you might find yourself: cheering me on as a fellow recovering christian feeling solidarity for not being alone in this journey angry that I would talk about the evangelical church and its leaders in such a way heartbroken that I’ve left the…

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Coming out of the shadows

By Nikole / May 21, 2018 / 0 Comments

You were always meant to live in the light. To feel the sun’s warmth on your skin, to absorb the joy that seems innate with the sun, and to be happy and free. The shadows was never meant to be your permanent homeland. We all journey through shadows. Some of…

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When Your Soul is Hungering for Change

By Nikole / May 12, 2018 / 2 Comments

I was looking through a note I wrote myself back in November 2017. At that point in my life, I was hungering for some major shifts/change in my life. I had read a book that lit a fire under me, and I knew I would need support in order to…

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Goodbye, Church (part 3)

By Nikole / April 3, 2018 / 6 Comments

Some of you may be wondering why I left the church instead of staying and trying to help change the church from within. (See Intro, Part 1, Part 2, and part 4 if you’re new to the Goodbye Church mini-series). Well, believe me when I say that I tried. I tried…

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Goodbye, Church (part 1)

By Nikole / March 19, 2018 / 2 Comments

CW: Church trauma and Trump This is an honest and vulnerable mini-series I’m releasing into the world about why I left the evangelical Church; you can read the intro post here. You will sense my anger and my hurt (hello, deconstruction), so please don’t read if you’re not in a…

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Goodbye Church Mini-Series

By Nikole / March 12, 2018 / 2 Comments

Hi dear friends, It was a little scary to publish my last post on me leaving the Christian Church. It’s scary to make public something that is so personal. And yet I know there are so many like me. And so I hope my post blessed you or spoke to…

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Love Will Bring Us Home

By Nikole / February 26, 2018 / 4 Comments

This is a story from the caverns of my heart – a part of my heart that I rarely share with anyone apart from John. But today, I feel called to share this particular cavern of my heart with you. I originally wrote this piece for an audition I recently…

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A Midrash on Two Women and Their Impossible Pregnancies

By Nikole / December 19, 2017 / 0 Comments

This Fall I wrote my first academic paper in over 12 years. 12 years! As as a result, I was slightly nervous to write an academic paper for my graduate school. I’m good at blogging, but that’s a completely different form of writing compared to academic papers. So I scheduled…

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Breathe

By Nikole / November 9, 2016 / 0 Comments

I have a dear friend whom I knew for years before I ever learned she was a secret poet. We’ve laughed together, cried together, raised our kids together. We’ve had deep conversations, hard conversations, and life-giving discussions. And yet this poetic side of her was always kept in the dark. I don’t…

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Pain and Loss and My First Tattoo

By Nikole / July 17, 2016 / 0 Comments

Friends tease me about the fact that I find papercuts painful and that I hyperventilate whenever I get poked with a needle. (thanks to having donated my plasma one too many times in college). But giving birth without meds? No problem. It hurts, but pushing a baby out seems natural to me; stabbing…

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