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When You Say Yes to Yourself
Last Fall, I was sitting in my therapist’s office on a Friday afternoon, processing with her the idea of someday coming out of the closet publicly.
I had a lot of fear.
I was afraid of losing friends and family…
I was afraid of being judged and talked about behind my back…
I was afraid of the trolls I would get…
I was afraid of what my church friends would think…
But I also knew I was safe.
I was at an affirming seminary.
I worked for a company that didn’t discriminate against LGBTQ folx.
I had loved ones in my corner who supported me and loved my queer self.
I had a partner who was in it with me 100%.
I had children who loved me for me.
I was grateful. But I was still scared.
I ended the session by telling my therapist that I was going to wait 6 months to a year before I came out.
I returned to my therapist’s office the following Friday and collapsed on her couch.
She chuckled (and I did too) at my full body collapse and said she had never had a client do that before.
That’s when I shared with her that I had just come out publicly that morning.
I shared how my stomach was in knots, how I felt nauseous, and how I was trying not to panic.
She asked me how I went from wanting to wait 6 months to a year to waiting only a week before coming out.
I teased her and said it was because of her. 😉
I was reading a book she had recommended, and it inspired me to face my fears and to do it now, with my stomach in knots and all.
And so I did.
Plus, I was tired of tiptoeing around who I was so that others wouldn’t find out.
When I went to queer events, I had to make sure I didn’t accidentally hit ‘going’ on Facebook because I didn’t want anyone to know.
When I liked a gay friend’s wedding pictures online, I was nervous about people noticing that and what they would think about me supporting ‘that lifestyle.’
I was tired of all of that.
I just wanted to have congruency in my life… to be the same online as I was offline, to not care about what other people think, and FOR ONCE to care about what I think, care about what I need, and care about what works best for me.
I had to stop viewing myself as an inconvenience to other people.
Because deep down I knew I was gift.
Deep down I knew I had something beautiful to offer this world.
Deep down I was thrilled to be me, all of me.
So I had a choice to make.
- Do I keep on living a life that is largely about making everyone happy at cost to my own happiness?
- Or do I finally decide to create a life that brings me happiness (which I believe ultimately brings the world happiness)?
I made my decision.
And I made it quickly because I didn’t want to give myself a chance to talk myself out of it.
And look where I am today!
I am fully, truly, finally me, and I COULD NOT BE HAPPIER.
And not only that, once I said YES to myself, it’s like everything fell into place.
It’s like the entire time I kept denying my truth (my queer truth, plus other truths of who I was), I felt so much resistance… friction… this impediment to maximizing my joy, to really going after my dreams, and to live the life I wanted to live.
But once I owned my truth, once I stood in my power for all the world to see, it’s like that’s what the Universe had been waiting for all along.
It’s like the Universe said, “Okay, now that I can work with. Let’s do this thing.”
With “this thing” being MY LIFE.
When I said yes to myself, owned my truth, and showed up in all my glory, DOORS BEGAN OPENING FOR ME, money started showing up in the most unexpected places, opportunities came out of the blue, and I found myself LIVING MY DREAM LIFE.
- I was paid to go to 2 conferences that I had been dying to go to – all expenses paid, plus a stipend! (fulfilling my love for travel!)
- I was invited to speak on panels and share my story (fulfilling my dream/love for public speaking!)
- I walked into the grocery story and they gave me an envelope of cash because they said they owed me some(?!)
- We got random checks written out to us for thousands of dollars! (whaaa?!)
- And most importantly, I was finally free to be me, and that freedom was/is INTOXICATING.
I couldn’t believe my life!
And yet I could, and I also knew THIS WAS JUST THE BEGINNING.
It made me deeply grateful that I had said YES to my truth and honored myself by BEING my full self.
I share this because I truly believe when THERE IS CONGRUENCE IN OUR LIVES, it opens the door for us to experience the very things we’re longing to experience: joy, peace, connection, success, abundance, riches, and more.
When you start listening to your heart and follow your gut and show up as your most authentic, empowered self, DOORS OPEN FOR YOU.
The Universe is dying to conspire for you, but sometimes it needs you to SAY YES TO YOURSELF!
So say yes!
Need some powerful support in your life to help you do just that? Then consider applying to work with me.
I’m a kick ass life coach who believes in you, supports you, and helps you create the life you’ve been wanting to live.
[Featured Photo: Joshua Earle]