When Parenthood Sucks

It’s been one of those days… one of those really bad days as a parent.

Where you no longer think happy thoughts but only angry thoughts that are fueled by sleep-deprivation and toddler temper tantrums of epic proportions. Where all joy and happiness that exists in this world are suddenly gone, vaporized by the volcano of chaos that’s erupted in your home. Where on the outside of your four walls, you look like any other typical happy small family on the neighborhood block. But on the inside of the walls, only you know the disasters that are taking place, the prayers you are uttering, the curse words you are swearing, and the tears you are crying…

When you have nothing left to give… and yet you’re forced to give anyway.

When naps are refused and tantrums are thrown…
When yelling matches incur and door slams ensue…
When exhaustion is full-blown and all reasoning is gone…

It’s then you need grace. It’s then you need air. It’s then you need wine…
It’s then you need help. It’s then you reach out. It’s then you escape…

To the car in the garage or the yard in the back,
To the coffee shop for coffee and the gas station for donuts,
To your bed with a book and a pillow for tears.

It’s moments like these where parenthood is overrated.

Where cynicism creeps in and negativity takes over.
Where despair sets the stage and all mayhem breaks loose.

And then… your partner comes home with a tender look and chocolate and the knowing nod to go have your escape and let him deal with the crazies. And so you do. You escape.

But you’re only gone for a matter of minutes before you feel pulled back to the house to make sure your monsters babies are okay.

That as much as you can’t stand them, you know you can’t stop loving them.
That as much as you want to shout at them, you know can’t stop choosing them.

That as much as you want to donate them*, just for a moment, you know you can do this. You have to do this. Even if it means after a few swigs of wine, a little bit of Netflix, the grace of Jesus and a good night’s sleep… you know you’ll somehow face and survive another day. And you’ll look back and be SO glad today is over. And that a new day has begun.

So, from me to you, here’s to a new day with new beginnings and new mercies. Because, God Almighty, I need them.

*Please don’t donate your children. That’s just the wry humor of a very fried and tired mama.

[Image: Chris Devers]