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Of Course You Are
A few years I got a job as a bar tender, and I really, really liked it. It was my first time being a bar tender, and I was pretty damn good at it. I loved my work and my customers. I had great employers and co-workers. And it quickly became one of my favorite jobs I had ever had.
Then I found out my one month job review was coming up.
All secure feelings vanished.
I started panicking about all the (imaginary) things my employer might call me out on.
Even though I was a great worker, I was sure my employer would find something wrong with me.
John tried to encourage me.
He reminded me that I was an asset to the business. I brought customers to the bar, I worked hard, and I was asked to work more nights. He knew my job review would be great.
Of course, nothing he said could settle my nerves.
It came time for my job review (as much as I had hoped it would somehow magically disappear), and lo and behold, my employer told me I was doing a great job and to keep up with the great work.
All that anxiety and panic for nothing!
That is how I lived most of my life.
I found my worth in what people thought of me – whether it was in the form of a job review or in how many ‘likes’ my posts would get or how many friends I had.
I don’t think I necessarily realized I was putting my worth in things that could shift/change/be removed at a moment’s notice.
So I spent most of my time trying to keep people happy, always apologizing, and ignoring all kinds of red flags so people would keep liking me.
People liking me was crucial to my feelings of worthiness.
As you can imagine, this is never sustainable.
I found a mentor by the Universe’s brilliant grace who helped me tune into my gut, listen to the red flags, and trust myself to put boundaries in place.
What resulted was a shit storm on some level because people who had benefited from me having no boundaries were PISSED.
I was saying “No” for the first time.
I was looking out for myself for once.
And they were not happy.
In fact, my mentor had me say “No” for 40 days to help me detox and break free from the people-pleasing (and omg was it HARD saying no, repeatedly, for 40 freakin days).
As painful as it was, it was a much needed (and long overdue) detox my heart, mind, soul and body had been needing for YEARS.
And I am forever grateful for the mentor who walked me through those hellish days.
Here I am, more than a year later, and I am the freest I have ever been.
Saying “No” is no longer hard.
I say it with ease knowing when I look out for myself, everyone wins.
There is no need to sacrifice my health, sanity and peace just because someone asks me to.
I am not anyone’s savior.
If I say “No,” it is not the end of the world.
And because I say “No”, I get to say “Hell yes!” way more often to people/things/events that LIGHT ME UP.
And when I light up, I light up those around me.
But I had to learn that my worthiness was NOT dependent on what others think of me or need from me.
Being worthy is a CHOICE.
A choice I have to make for myself.
Once I learned where my worthiness was found and what exactly I was worthy of, everything in my life shifted.
No more hustling.
No more proving.
No more people-pleasing.
No more sacrificing my health.
Deep, abiding joy.
I no longer analyze every little thing I do or obsess over how someone will receive my text/message/words I share with them or the world.
I just get to be me – fully, passionately, freely me.
And it gets to be enough.
For I am more than enough.
And so are you.
It’s easy to find your worth in the jobs you’ve had, in how well you perform, in how much your coworkers like you, and how much your employers approve of you. Or in how well you live out your roles as a parent, partner, daughter or friend.
I’ve been there.
But the problem is that jobs change. Friends come and go. People’s opinions change.
While it’s always a good and beautiful thing to have friends love you, employers who approve of you, and work you love, it DOESN’T mean that, in the event any of these things are taken from you, that you are now some piece of scum no one cares about.
Because you are a child of the Divine.
Beautiful, breathtaking, perfect and wild.
Of course, you are loved.
Of course, you are worthy.
Of course, you are enough.
There is NO ONE and NOTHING that can take that away from you.
Even if you don’t or can’t feel those feelings of worthiness or love or enoughness, THEY ARE THERE.
They are always within you.
And all it takes is a little uncovering to find those radiant, beaming truths RIGHT WITHIN YOU.
So today, be free.
You are a breathtaking masterpiece meant to radiate in all your glory.
Rise up and shine today.
Let today be the day you show up for YOU, take care of YOU, do what feels right to YOU, and watch the world respond with awe.
The world is desperate for people who KNOW their worth, who are grounded in their truth, and who live a life that is true to who they are.
Let that be you, and you not only will be (much) happier, you will inspire those around you to do the same. Which I think will make the world a better place. #EverybodyWins
P.S. If knowing and owning your worthiness has been a struggle for you, I have beautiful news. Next week I am hosting a 2 day Worthiness Workshop! This has been born from not only my personal experience with un/worthiness but also from working with countless people over the years, from all walks of life, who are total badasses but had the hardest time believing that about themselves.
If you’re tired of never feeling like enough, and you are READY to know, own, and operate from a place of worthiness in ALL that you do, then this workshop is for you! We will do energetic work, loads of practical work; you’ll be given tips and tools on how to completely transform the way you approach life; and be given all the resources you need to THRIVE as YOU. It’s on Nov 8 and 9, so click here to learn more and register if you feel it tugging at your heart!