Overwhelmed yet Thankful

This is how I feel (CALI, Flickr)

Our Dear Friends,
There’s (many) a reason why I’ve been absent from the blog, but it’s NOT because I’ve forgotten about you all! I constantly tell myself I need to sit down and update you all on our adoption journey, but finding the time has been nearly impossible (and no, it wasn’t due to Netflix-bingeing this time, surprisingly enough;).

We are currently in the beginning stage of our Home Study process, which is SUPER exciting because it just makes everything seem more legit. The fact that we’ve been assigned and have MET with our social worker makes me almost giddy. For two years now I’ve heard about the assigning of a social worker and how it makes the whole adoption process more real, and WE ARE FINALLY HERE. I seriously could jump up and down and clap and laugh, it makes my heart so happy!

But it’s midnight and the whole family’s sleeping, so I’ll contain myself. 🙂

And while it’s been exciting to ‘advance’ to this part of the process, it’s been just as, if not more, overwhelming at the same time. It hit me a couple weeks ago that just in the past few months, I have somehow managed to find myself working FIVE part-time jobs! ALL of which help put money into our Adoption Fund, for which I am SO grateful. But it hasn’t come stress-free.

As some of you know, I’m a birth doula and only do births here and there. I hadn’t done births in almost 2 years but have had 3 births in the past 3 months (including one this morning!). I started facepainting for birthday parties and festivals (which I LOVE). I sell fair trade jewelry/home decor/etc via home parties (which I am LOVING). I preach at different church events (EEKS! I love this too!), AND I’ve opened an etsy shop (Aprons4Aodption.etsy.com <– check it out!:) and have been sewing like a mad woman (just wait til you see the vintage aprons I’m working on! Posting those soon’ish!:). And all of these have come together in the past 2 months.

This doesn’t include the mounds of adoption paperwork we are constantly behind on. Last week I finished typing up a 26(!) paged-paper about everything you could ever know about me (the infamous ‘autobiography’:). And today I got an(other) email from our agency about another piece of paperwork we’re behind on. We’re constantly getting emails about paperwork, meetings, appointments, and trainings, and I am doing my hardest to keep on top of it all (and for some reason only *I* receive all these emails; John’s somehow managed to not be included on it all..hmm…;).

And so in between my 5 part-time jobs and our mounds of paperwork, I’ve been staying up late to try to get sewing done when the family’s in bed. A couple weeks ago, I stayed up til 3 in the morning for an entire WEEK sewing aprons for a vendor event (and for those of you who know me, I NEED 10 hours of sleep to just function the next day). So within hours after the vendor event ended, my body totally crashed and I was sick as a dog for several days. Add to this Mercy’s health issues and multiple doctor visits in the past two months, and you’ve got one tired, nearly maxed out mama.

I was (mostly) managing all this (minus the complete health crash;) until last week. I had a church meeting Wednesday night from 7-9, and at 5:50 my phone alarm went off reminding me of a 3 hour required adoption training from 6-9. And the training location was 30 minutes away. That training somehow totally slipped my mind and I literally freaked out in front of John and the girls. I dropped everything I was doing, jumped into my car, and (safely) sped all the way to my training. On the way there, though, I just broke down in my car and wept like a newborn babe. All the stress and the constant go-go-go of the past several weeks just hit me like a wall, and all I could do was sob it all out of my system. I was dying to vent/process with someone and so I called my mom and got her voicemail. I left her the most hysterical, sob-ridden voicemail known to mankind. As I choked out my words “I just *sob* can’t *gasp for air* do this anymore *weepy croak* Mom…”, I thought to myself, “My mom’s going to think John and I are splitting up with how this is sounding!” As soon as I hung up, I was so embarrassed I left such a vulnerable and raw message on her phone. But I needed to tell someone. I needed to cry it out. And cry it out I did.

So the point to this whole blog post? I guess I’m just wanting to explain why I’ve been absent these past several weeks. I’ve not been this busy or stressed in a looong time (reminds me of my college days). And I really do enjoy all that I’m doing and am SO grateful for the funds it’s bringing in for our adoption. And with each job and each piece of paperwork we finish, I feel that much closer to bringing our baby home. Which… just ruins me in the best of ways. Ugh! <3

And want to know what’s super cool?? We have raised $9,500+ in the past 3 months!!!!! Can you believe that?? I just sit and stare at that number… just in awe of the community of people who’ve made that a reality. In awe of our Adoptive Father who’s called us to this journey and providing for us in little, big, and unexpected ways. We are SO thankful for SO much! For each one of you who’ve contributed to our journey in one way or another – THANK YOU. For those of you who’ve purchased items from either Trades of Hope or Aprons4Adoption – THANK YOU. For those of you who’ve followed our journey and ask for updates – THANK YOU. For those of you who’ve seen me breakdown and love me and help me through – THANK YOU. We could not do this without you, our amazing community.

May you be blessed in return for your generous hearts, love, and donations!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!
From the Mitchell clan <3

P.S. And you know I gotta put a plug in here… 😉
Not sure what to get your family/friends for the holidays? Check out my 2 sites: mytradesofhope.com/NikoleMitchell and Aprons4Adoption.etsy.com!
Where you can buy beautiful handmade items that will help put money into our Adoption Fund!